Sobriety, Part One

I started out as what people call "sober curious."

For close to 2 years, I listened to podcasts, books and read up online. I followed lots of people online that I admired and it just so happened many of them didn’t drink.

I thought a lot about what my life might look like with less alcohol in it. But only less, never none.

“Can I learn to cut back a bit?”
“I’ll stop drinking on weeknights.”
“Do I always need it in social situations?”
“Maybe I just need to be better about drinking water.”

But I continued to find myself in the same scenario.

Waking up exhausted, dehydrated, unmotivated, depressed, and anxious. I struggled to find a flow in my day and I’d force through work. Eventually, I’d feel good enough at the end of it to have a glass of wine to take the edge off or even celebrate that I made it through.

Only to start it all over again the next day, and the next, and the next…

I had a great life, but something was off. I wasn’t fulfilled. I wasn’t making shit happen the way I wanted to be. I felt like I was moving at a snail’s pace towards my goals and dreams. I felt bogged down, held back and stuck in my ways.

On November 8th, 2020, I finally got fed up.

It wasn’t a “bad night” or a rock bottom as some experience. It was actually a very ordinary night at a coworker’s with a couple glasses of wine. I don’t know if I would even remember it if it didn’t hold so much significance to me now. But it wasn’t the night itself.

It was waking up the next morning yet again, exhausted, dehydrated, unmotivated, depressed, and anxious that made me realize I just couldn’t keep feeling this way.

I felt like shit for years and years, and years and connected the dots over and over and over that it was booze
booze
booze.

But I continued to do the same thing again and again and again. It was truly insanity.

I was pissed off, fed up and just fucking done with the way this was making me feel.

And so I made a change.

Continue Reading, Part Two >>